I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
