I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
