3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize