nut hugger
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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