the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
