Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
