yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
