thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
