Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
