He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
