I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Two words: blizzard sex
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
