the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
