Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
