google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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