Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
