you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
