I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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