i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
