glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
