hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize