why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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