I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
