She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize