so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
