Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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