I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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