I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
