My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
