i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
