have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
