just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
