Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
