There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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