i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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