Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
