just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
a search helicopter?!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
