My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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