so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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