You can't motorboat a personality
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
