I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
