At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I am mentally ready for anal.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
