she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
