I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
