Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize