I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
