"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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