it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize