I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
