I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
