Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
