ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
