Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
