I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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