I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
