When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
