I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
