I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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