Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
