How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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