Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
