PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
